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Showing posts from August, 2019

Humility

I've been thinking a lot about humility lately. About starting over from a humble beginning. Maybe after a fall. 


The difficulty. The pain. The shame, if we let that in. So much pride wrapped up in who we were.
I've been struggling for more than two years now, to stay balanced, to maintain some kind of equilibrium with all the tremendous changes I've had thrown at me. For two years, I've reacted, rather than acted. I've ridden the waves, dodged the swells and barely stayed afloat. I have NOT thrived.

I have also not grabbed the reins in any definitive way at all. If you're constantly reacting, there is no room for action. 
I haven't known where or how to start, what to do or not do. As a result, I found myself in a kind of unhealthy stasis; eating too much, drinking too much, doing too little. I'd have bursts of determination, sparks of fire that never flamed. I kept trying, in my way. But nothing seemed to stick.

More torpor. More regret. More guilt and sha…